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If you feel brave enough, and grateful enough... grateful, yes, Cal... because ladies get no pleasure from being cruel. None whatsoever, I swear. Only the knowledge that a man's love is shallow unless it is accompanied by unstinting sacrifice... only that gives us the strength to hurt. It's not the pain we want to see, but your courage in facing it, and the tears of love it draws. Look how I'm sweating, my darling. Look at Aunt Paula's watery eyes. We ladies need courage too."Cal looked. But the signs of her emotion troubled him more in a way than the vision of her terrible remoteness. Paula mustn't weaken. Cal understood that somehow. Whatever exactly the lesson of this hard day, it must be thoroughly delivered before his teacher relented toward either her pupil or herself. Her power chilled him, but he wanted it absolute: he'd pledged as much, and even now, shocked to discover what he'd consented to, he wished despite his trepidation to be broken. Until now in his submissive life,. It would necessitate transport to a major cityhospital.Whether that could be avoided or not wasn?t solely dependent on me,but I had to try my hardest to minimize that possibility. Holding thedonut shaped mask over her little face, and using my index finger toregulate the oxygen flow in a rapid pattern of inspiration andexpiration I let the rhythmic pattern allow me to restore calm andregroup.Slowly but surely the blueness fades away. Thirty seconds later thebaby?s colour has improved to the point where all but the peripheriesare pink and her heart rate increased to the magic number of over 100beats a minute."Color?s getting better," I announce to Kristi.She is silent, there?s probably nothing to say to that, but I hopeshe?s encouraged.Within 3 minutes of Neopuff ventilation the baby?s pre ductal oxygensaturation is in target range for minutes post partum, meaning theoxygen levels in her blood were where they should be.It starts to wiggle and let?s out a weak but audible cry."There.
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